Don't Say We Didn't Warn You; Ok, Fine, We Didn't Warn You

Say you've got this team, right? And this team was beyond awful last year. I mean, it was so bad, that I wrote that I had to call Woods Hole and rent Alvin to go find their record. We're talking bottom of the Mariana Trench bad. The statistics at the bottom of said trench?





2007 Rankings of the Minnesota Golden Gophers:

Total Defense: 119th
Turnover Margin: 115th
Time of Possession: 102nd
Red Zone Conversion: 72nd
Scoring Offense: 67th
Overall Record: 1-11

Ok, so you're not going to win very many football games when your defense is ranked as the worst defense in the nation. And you're not going to win very many football games when you're losing the ball to turnovers more than any team in the nation save 4.

But, as bad as Minnesota was last year, there were some statistics that indicated a modicum of success. Namely:

Total Offense: 48th (ahead of IU, Ohio State, Michigan)
Sacks Allowed: 6th (just 1/game)
Third Down Conversions: 36th (42.6% success)
TFL's allowed: 19th (63 allowed)

Ok, so the offense - when it wasn't turning the ball over - was actually pretty decent. Excellent protection for the QB, and they managed to stay on the field. This suggests that the problem was with a defense that was a sieve, and an offense that couldn't hang onto the ball. To be a successful football team, Minnesota had to put those"Mariana Trench" category stats into the "modicum of success" category.

This year, through 7 games:

Total Defense: 84th
Turnover Margin: 2nd (!!!)
Time of Possession: 21st
Red Zone Conversion: 28th
Scoring offense: 42nd

Ok, so the defense still isn't great. But the offense, which was competent last year, is finally holding onto the ball. Heck, sometimes the defense is actually getting it for them which must be a novel thing:

Brewster: OFFENSE, LET'S GO! WIN FIGHT!

Offense: Wait a second there coach. I didn't see the other team score a Touchdown yet. We're not supposed to go in until that happens.

The offense is holding onto the ball and converting in the Red Zone. I don't need to go into the flawed stat that is "red zone conversion" but hey - it's flawed for everybody, and at least the Gophers are doing it. The result: a 6-1 record.

We didn't warn you that the Gophers could be a good football team this year, and they're still not world-beaters. But they went from grossly incompetent to bowl-eligible by dramatically improving in just a few areas. The framework for success was there, and Brewster should be credited for maintaining that framework while improving on the key areas that held the Gophers back last year.

Minnesoooooota: The Preview, eh?

Not Canadian? Who cares?!

The Minnesota Golden Gophers enter this season with "regression towards the mean" as a rather dubious goal. Last year? The Gophers were a mess. 1-11 overall, with an 0-8 conference record and a Big-Ten standing so low it would take Alvin to get there. What's Alvin? That, right there to the left, is Alvin. The Gophers were, without question, one of the worst football teams in America. However, that is not to say that there is not hope in Gopherland.

2007 Season in One Word: Atrocious. But then, there was Tim Brewster's claim that a few bounces one way or the other would have had his team at 5 wins, so really, that 1-11 record is rather misleading. Of course, this is akin to me saying "a few bounces one way or the other, and I could be the father of Jessica Alba's baby." and "a few bounces, and Michigan would be competing for their 32nd consecutive National Championship." There is no way to spin 1-11 so that it sounds good: it's still 1-11. At any rate, it hasn't stopped Brewster's enthusiasm for the program, as evident by his motivational Tourette's Syndrome. Under Glen Mason, Minnesota had only missed a bowl game three times, and only once since 1999. However, in looking at past seasons, Minnesota has fluctuated from "just good enough for a bowl game" to "awful." It could very well be that Brewster's first season coincided with a year that was destined to be "awful" from the get-go.

2008 Tangibles:

Schedule

8/30 Northern Illinois
9/06 @ Bowling Green
9/13 Montana State
9/20 Florida Atlantic
9/27 @ Ohio State
10/04 Indiana
10/11 @ Illinois
10/25 @ Purdue
11/01 Northwestern
11/08 Michigan
11/15 @ Wisconsin
11/22 Iowa

The schedule isn't too grinding; a fairly tame OOC slate, followed by your standard Big Ten fare. There is no brutal stretch of demoralizing games, and on the surface, many appear winnable.


Coach

Tim Brewster enters his second season as Head Coach of the Golden Gophers. He is pictured above, holding his balls.

Returning Playmakers

Adam Weber returns from a 2007 campaign that saw him leading the team in passing and rushing. He has solidified the starting spot, and has become a more vocal leader throughout the spring. The departure of quarterback Clint Brewster (Tim's son) makes the decision to start Weber easier for all involved. Of course, this could be complete BS: I have no idea if Clint was even on the radar to get playing time. I am, however, still bitter about losing playing time to the coaches son in Pee-Wee.

Defensively, the standout this spring has been a juco transfer safety named Tramaine Brock. The Gophers led the nation in suck last year defensively, so they're going to need all the help they can get.

Special Added Feature! Reason for Hope!

Tim Brewster has, by all rights, been an animal on the recruiting trail. Please witness this video for proof:


A few things:

1) Minnesota DEFINITELY leads the nation in recruits with creepy eyes.
2) What is with the music selection? It sounds like we're either in a Mario dungeon, or a lame jazz club. Either way, it's not the usual gangster rap, so that's a plus? Who knows. I'm going to make a highlight film featuring nothing but Robert Goulet, and see how that goes over.