And finally...

Spartstravaganza wouldn't be complete without this, from Mike Valenti. Hawkeye State of BHGP was kind enough to remind us of it, and points out that it's either the saddest, or funniest saddest thing he's ever heard.

Gallows humor, to be sure.

The audio takes a minute to load because I don't have a better grasp on how to embed audio. Apologies.

Boomp3.com

Enjoy the game tomorrow.

Interview with a Spartan

Not nearly this cool

As a part of our Spartravaganza today, we've got resident blogger of Ground Zero East Lansing here to discuss a little Michigan State. Along with running a fine blog, G0EL Pete is also the only Spartan I know who has a sense of humor regarding Michigan, making him just short of awesome. Unfortunately, I was unable to line up an Ohio State blogger for questioning, partly because I never asked, but mostly because none of them can read. On to the questions!

Ok, we're bound by our contract to ask this question first: Who is the player on Ohio State who scares you the most?

That'd be Beanie. It's more of MSU's experiences with past Big 10 running backs (Thigpen, Greene and Sutton all broke the 100 yard barrier) that factors into this fear than anything else. If Beanie is breaking into the secondary consistently, that's going to allow OSU to go into the Jim Tressel patented "try and hold the ball for all 60 minutes" mode.

Are there any particular nuances about Beanie vs. the Run Defense that we should know about?

Obviously, in the run game, so much of it comes down to blocking along the line. If the OSU OL gets out on their blocks, the guards pull and block the Spartan LB, it's going to lead to big, big gains. Which means of course, big, big trouble in Spartan Stadium.

Defensively, Greg Jones remains my favorite Spartan. We have a tag devoted to him. He's tall, and a really sweet guy, and well, I just really like him :) :) ...How is he doing this year; do you expect him to have a big game this weekend?

Greg Jones has had a solid year. He's currently leading the team in tackles (52) and ranks second in tackles for a loss (5.5). If MSU wins this game on Saturday, I expect him to have a big if quiet day in which he records more than 10 tackles. If he has less than that, it means one of two things: Beanie Wells is running into the secondary or Pryor is throwing it over Jones' head. I'm going to go out on a huge limb and say the former is much more likely to happen than the latter; if Tressel could super-glue the ball into Terrelle's hands, I have no doubt that he would.

Ok, so what is Michigan State's achilles heel defensively? Does OSU have the ability to exploit it, or will MSU be able to cover it up?

In a stunner this year, it's not the secondary. I'd say it's the inability of the front seven to stop the run consistently. OSU definitely has the ability to exploit it, if they don't turn the ball over. MSU is +10 in turnover differential this year, and have stopped many drives in the red zone by causing a fumble or interception (Case in point: Iowa.) The Spartans have been covering up this deficiency by causing turnovers, but if they don't get any against OSU...look out.

Switching gears to the offense, most of the teams that MSU has faced thus far have lacked to ability to stack the line and stop Ringer from killing them. Ohio State has the ability to do just that. How do you expect Hoyer to play should Ringer be slowed?

Well, Ringer has slowed a bit in Big Ten play (his YPC in the last three games: 4.5, 3.6, 3.5). Ohio State definitely has the ability to stack the line. I expect Ringer's production to be much similar to the Iowa game. Iowa had a killer DL, and OSU has killer LBs, so I expect Ringer's YPC in the mid threes. I expect MSU to run it enough to set up the play action and deep pass for Hoyer, who has improved in Big Ten play (I believe he's the third ranked passer in Big 10 games). The thing that can't happen is that he can't play like he did in Columbus last year, where he completed under 50% of his passes and threw for just over 100 yards. I expect Hoyer to be his solid, unspectacular self, throw for about 200 yards on 55-60% passing, with a TD and no picks.

As for the "We'll stop Ringer and let Hoyer beat us" strategy, ask Indiana, Iowa, and Northwestern how that went.

Right. Regarding the inevitable tailspin?

I've got two and a half words for you: John L. Smith. Now that Dantonio is the the head coach, MSU is playing much more consistently (for example: I guarantee you that in this OSU game, unlike three years ago, eleven players will take the field for a FG attempt. That was the game most known for "THE PLAYERS ARE PLAYING THEIR TAILS OFF, AND THE COACHES ARE SCREWING IT UP!" That was the tailspin moment for 2005.). The secondary is intercepting balls, penalties are being kept to a minimum, everybody's healthy, and nobody's slapping himself in the face.

I don't believe a loss to OSU will start that tailspin mainly because MSU's next three games are these: @ UM, Wisconsin, and Purdue. In years past, any casual viewer knew that MSU would definitely be outclassed in those games, but not anymore. Albeit, the definition of a tailspin involves a team losing games it should win, and those three games are ones in which the Spartans will be favored. I believe Dantonio has MSU too focused, and too grounded for a tailspin to occur again.

And if it does, I drink myself silly until November 16th, when MSU Basketball stats its season against Idaho. It's easier than you think, Michigan fans. Just start drinking, and don't stop until leaves are on the trees again. (ed.- My favorite line from the entire interview. A Spartan with a sense of humor...love it.)

The Tailspin

Not that tailspin

Michigan State fans know it. The team knows it. The coaches...well...these coaches may not know it viscerally, like the fans and the players, but they know it. They know it's coming.

That's the one

For Michigan State, the football season doesn't really start until that first back-breaking loss is out of the way. I'm not saying this to talk trash, or to have some sort of ROTFLMAO moment. It is simply what years of conditioning has taught the denizens of Spartan Stadium. Sure - they're good now. Just wait. Wait until we blow a huge lead against Northwestern. Wait until Notre Dame comes here and, inexplicably, pulls out a win after losing for the majority of the game. Wait until...and here comes the words every Spartan know and love...next year.

This year, the Spartans have stood up to their past, and owned their opponents. Sure, they lost to Cal, but really - and here's another of my maxims to live by - Big Ten teams should never travel west in the first 3 games of the season. Just nix it right off the schedule. Oregon, Cal, USC - they're all death to Big Ten teams early. So, erasing that loss as much as can be done, the Spartans have gotten considerably further in their schedule without a tailspin inducing loss than before. But now the heavy lifting begins. Michigan State has skated through a relatively easy schedule to this point, facing Northwestern has probably been their biggest challenge. The next three games, Ohio State, Michigan, and Wisconsin, will largely determine their fate in the Big Ten. These three games are all winnable for Michigan State, and are the exact games that Michigan State traditionally loses.

A loss to Ohio State puts the collapse mindset in the forefront of players, fans, and coaches. It turns the following two infinitely winnable games into question marks. If MSU gets blown away by Ohio State, Michigan and Wisconsin are immediately in doubt. It's been this way since the dawn of time. Michigan State is just one backbreaking loss away from a .500 record, and a berth in a bowl played well before Christmas. It happened with Bobby Williams, it happened with John L. Smith, and it even happened with Spartan Golden Child Nick Saban, who despite his post-Spartan brilliance, was still 2-3 against Michigan.

A win, on the other hand, may prove that Michigan State, as a program, is turning the corner, and that D'Antonio may actually be on to something. A win against Ohio State puts the Michigan and Wisconsin games from "doubtful" to "probable" in terms of winning. It puts the Spartans in the driver's seat for a berth in the Rose Bowl.

Win, and you've got a BCS worthy Big Ten team. Lose, and you've got the same old Sparty struggling to a .500 record. It's probably hyperbole to put this one game in such a context, but given the history, it's not too far a stretch. There is a lot hinging on this game for D'Antonio's boys, but nothing more important than putting the mid-season collapse modus operendi firmly in the rearview.

It's Spart-Eye Day!

Well, we've got on our green hats here at TOGTM HQ, and combined with our scarlet sweatervests, we'd say we look pretty dashing. Pants? Don't need 'em. The eye-gougingly awful Christmas-gone-to-hell combo of Spartan Green and Buckeye Scarlet is enough to ward off even the most wandering of eyes. And if the color combo doesn't do it, our penis will.

We figure D'Antonio woke up this morning in pretty good spirits. His team is, after all, ranked number 20 in the country, and hey, that's not too bad! Maybe even enough to crack a smile at if, you know, D'Antonio ever smiled - which he does not because emotion is a sign of humanity, and humanity is weakness. Nope, D'Antonio will have none of your weakness, human race, it's a sign of poor breeding. But regardless, D'Antonio probably came as close to smiling as he ever has as he made his morning coffee and watched replays of his "Big Ten Recruiting" commercial in which he manages to scare the living daylights out of us. Really, JoePa may have stolen the show on that one with his "weeeeerelinbackeruuuuu" slur, but pay particular attention to D'Antonio next time. Striking fear into the hearts of friends and enemies alike; that's how D'Antonio rolls. In fact, it's printed right there on his coffee mug.

Jim Tressel, on the other hand, woke up this morning as he always does; rising out of his coffin, a quick virgin-blood shake for breakfast, and off to the office - mindful not to cross running water. Jim, being undead, probably whistles a lot. There isn't a joke in there, I just think that he probably whistles with the uncaring attitude that only those who know that they cannot die possess. Jim knows he's coached better football teams but - and I can't stress this enough - being undead has its advantages, and he's managed to seduce his team, poll voters, and his adoring fans that Ohio State is the same Ohio State that has bitchmade the entire conference for nearly a decade. No reason to think that the gravy-train stops this weekend, and by gravy we of course mean blood.

Two coaches, both speeding towards a meeting that will inevitably leave one significantly more angry than they already are. D'Antonio wears his anger on his sleeve; uses it as motivation for players, recruits, and those sitting at home watching BTN commercials. Jim's anger is much more subtle, passive even. But make no mistake, the anger is there, right below the surface of a calm exterior. A storm rages inside Jim Tressel, but the man never shows it, which makes him dangerous. An enraged man can be dealt with because with the rage comes the adrenaline that relegates reasoned thought and calculation to the nether regions of consciousness. Jim never rages. Jim uses his anger to fuel that reasoned thought and calculation, never letting it take him over.

Two styles; two coaches; two teams who, given the opportunity, would love nothing more than to beat the living hell out of the other, within the rules and parameters of the game of football, of course. That opportunity comes tomorrow, and we've got everything you need, Mr. Big Ten fan, to get you ready for it.

Don't Say We Didn't Warn You; Ok, Fine, We Didn't Warn You

Say you've got this team, right? And this team was beyond awful last year. I mean, it was so bad, that I wrote that I had to call Woods Hole and rent Alvin to go find their record. We're talking bottom of the Mariana Trench bad. The statistics at the bottom of said trench?





2007 Rankings of the Minnesota Golden Gophers:

Total Defense: 119th
Turnover Margin: 115th
Time of Possession: 102nd
Red Zone Conversion: 72nd
Scoring Offense: 67th
Overall Record: 1-11

Ok, so you're not going to win very many football games when your defense is ranked as the worst defense in the nation. And you're not going to win very many football games when you're losing the ball to turnovers more than any team in the nation save 4.

But, as bad as Minnesota was last year, there were some statistics that indicated a modicum of success. Namely:

Total Offense: 48th (ahead of IU, Ohio State, Michigan)
Sacks Allowed: 6th (just 1/game)
Third Down Conversions: 36th (42.6% success)
TFL's allowed: 19th (63 allowed)

Ok, so the offense - when it wasn't turning the ball over - was actually pretty decent. Excellent protection for the QB, and they managed to stay on the field. This suggests that the problem was with a defense that was a sieve, and an offense that couldn't hang onto the ball. To be a successful football team, Minnesota had to put those"Mariana Trench" category stats into the "modicum of success" category.

This year, through 7 games:

Total Defense: 84th
Turnover Margin: 2nd (!!!)
Time of Possession: 21st
Red Zone Conversion: 28th
Scoring offense: 42nd

Ok, so the defense still isn't great. But the offense, which was competent last year, is finally holding onto the ball. Heck, sometimes the defense is actually getting it for them which must be a novel thing:

Brewster: OFFENSE, LET'S GO! WIN FIGHT!

Offense: Wait a second there coach. I didn't see the other team score a Touchdown yet. We're not supposed to go in until that happens.

The offense is holding onto the ball and converting in the Red Zone. I don't need to go into the flawed stat that is "red zone conversion" but hey - it's flawed for everybody, and at least the Gophers are doing it. The result: a 6-1 record.

We didn't warn you that the Gophers could be a good football team this year, and they're still not world-beaters. But they went from grossly incompetent to bowl-eligible by dramatically improving in just a few areas. The framework for success was there, and Brewster should be credited for maintaining that framework while improving on the key areas that held the Gophers back last year.

Das Poll

Champ is a busy, busy man. He creates life. No, really, he does. As such, he has had little time for a foolish college football blog, and an even more foolish poll that counts for nothing other than the fact that we have fun writing it. It's not even included in the fancy-pants CBS BlogPoll, as we cruelly found out while posting bail for trying to pay for things with Schrutebucks. The guys down at County liked our American Eagle cologne; we have no regrets.

As such, you get my poll and my poll only, in all its inaccurate and hastily written glory. I mean, what the hell do you do with the Utah teams? Why did Texas Tech jump so dramatically when they were pushed to the brink by Nebraska? Yeah, we're scared too. Here's the poll, along with half-cocked rationalizations:

1) Bama
2) TEX
3) PSU
4) Florida
5) Georgia

Bama moves up to number 1 mostly because I'm a firm believer of "you can't drop if you haven't played." Alabama still has a stronger resume than Texas, despite the glitzy "newness" of Texas's marquee victory. The glitz, however, does get them to number 2, and I think that if Bama comes out weak at any point, they're ripe to get jumped as long as Texas puts that whattaburger-sized whipping on the remainder of their schedule. Penn State is rewarded for the whipping they imparted on Wisconsin, but frankly I think it's becoming clear that Wisconsin just isn't very good. If Florida continues romping and stomping through their competition - which is much stiffer than PSU's remaining competition - they may get jumped. Georgia being at number 5 is going to be short lived, IMO.

6) Oklahoma
7) USC
8) LSU
9) BYU
10) Texas Tech

Oklahoma lost, sure, but they're still a football team that I believe can beat everyone lower than them on this ranking. I just couldn't put them any lower than 6. USC moves up due to BYU and Mizzour's relatively weak performances - strenght of opponent in BYU's case, and a flat out loss by Mizzou. LSU is in the same boat as Oklahoma. Despite the loss, I don't see them losing to anyone ranked lower than they are. Texas Tech was pushed to the brink by the Huskers, but they debut in my top 10 largely because I've had them under-ranked for the majority of the season. They're good - and if they beat some of the Big Boys of the BXII, they should be mentioned for the title race.

11) Ohio State
12) Mizzou
13) Utah
14) OK State
15) Wake

Ohio State is on life support, in my opinion. Pryor has played very well as a freshman, but the fact remains that he is still a freshman, and is playing behind a line that some would call suspect. I call them bad. Mizzou may have been exposed this weekend. I'll admit, I was drinking the kool-aid on them, but really, I don't think OK state is that good - I just think Mizzou was grossly overrated. Utah stays pat - just waiting for their matchup against BYU. OK state, despite what I said about Mizzou, still took care of business, and they make their debut right ahead of Wake, who played terrible football for 3 quarters and still managed to beat Clemson.

16) Boise State
17) Michigan State
18) Virginia Tech
19) Ball State
20) Vandy

I don't know what to do with Boise. They keep moving up because of attrition ahead of them, and frankly, we don't have enough info on them because they haven't played very many "real" opponents. I still can't figure out why nobody just stacks the line against Michigan State and forces Hoyer to throw it, but hey, there they are at 17. Virginia Tech, Ball State, and Vandy are all "still ranked but not that great" type teams, which leads us to the bottom 5.

21) UNC
22) Kansas
23) South Florida
24) TCU
25) Tulsa

Wheeeeee! The only team on this list that I think could win against a team ranked in the top 20 is UNC. There, I said it.

Who would you rather: Michigan or Wisconsin?

There isn't much spleen on these internets coming from Wisconsin fans despite the fact that their team has lost 3 in a row rather spectacularly. This is, in large part, due to the lack of a Wisconsin blog of note combined with the fact that most Wisconsinites are generally good natured folks who don't get too worked up about this sort of thing. This is the result I got by typing in "angry Wisconsin fan" into youtube:



When this is as angry as your fanbase gets, you don't get a whole lot of internet spleen.

Michigan, on the other hand, has internet capable fans exploding into mushroom clouds of high hopes colliding violently with hard reality. Despite the fact that Michigan was expected to suck this year, most of the fanbase can be seen curled up on a public bathroom floor, kicking at nothing but their own pain. Oh - that's not a metaphor:



But, despite the spleen, Michigan was expected to suck this year. With the attrition, and the new coach, and the transfers, the fanbase - or at least the educated fanbase - saw this coming. It still hurts (witness nearly every Michigan blog for evidence of this hurting. Brian killed a guy.), but that hurting is somewhat numbed by lowered expectation.

Wisconsin, on the other hand, had a top ten team that most thought would challenge for the Big Ten. After Ohio State went down to USC, and subsequently proved that they weren't going to be world-beaters in the Big Ten, many Wisconsinites had their eyes set on Pasadena as a back-up plan. They wanted that Crystal Trophy.

Then, in one half of football against a woeful Michigan team, the wheels fell off the bus, the bus exploded, and the wheels continued to roll over every Wisconsin fan's dog before finally igniting the dairy barn's milkin' room. Things got ugly fast. Now, after those insanely high hopes, Wisconsin finds themselves 0-3 in the Big Ten, and fighting for their bowl lives. Not Rose Bowl, mind you, just plain old bowl.

They will find themselves in a bowl, no doubt, but with those sky high expectations for this team, how can the fans not be hopelessly depressed and disappointed?

So my question is, who would you rather?

Michigan: Lowered expectations vs. even lower reality

or

Wisconsin: Super-high expectations vs. crushing defeat

Answers in the poll on the sidebar, reasons in the comments.